She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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