It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
