He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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