don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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