So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
