I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
