Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
