so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
