Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize