I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
