I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
