You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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