I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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