and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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