TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
