I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize