Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
