I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
