Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
