Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
