I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
