We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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