bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
