Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
