Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize