Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
