Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
