I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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