We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
