it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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