She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize