Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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