; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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