i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
