Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
