the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
