i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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