Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
