I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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