Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
