Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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