A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
