week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
