Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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