I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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