Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He did a backflip because drugs
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