Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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