i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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