great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
