so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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