Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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