So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize