wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
