allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As shirtless as possible
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
