I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
