i barfeds in our rink
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
