and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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