Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
