im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
