wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
