Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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