Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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