Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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