but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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